Four Days Left

Yesterday was my very last Sunday at my church until I come home again for fall break in October. Consequently, it was also my very last day to sing and play the piano on the worship team. It was so bittersweet.

Getting this close to move in day, I am beginning to feel quite apprehensive about the whole thing. So many questions bounce around in my head. Will I do well in Calculus? Will my grades be high enough to keep my scholarships? Will I have enough time to read my Bible and spend time with Jesus like usual? Will I be able to make friends? Will people just think I'm weird, stuck up, and boring? There are so many questions I could go on for hours I am sure.

But there is one thing that concerns me above all other things - that, no matter the cost, I never compromise. It is so easy to stay grounded when I am at home with my family where I am always encouraged to pursue Jesus and live for Him. But what will happen when I am removed from that comfort zone? It's called testing, and I hate to admit it, but it scares me out of my mind.

However, something occurred to me about testing that I guess I'd never thought of before. It's that the qualities you appear to possess when things are easy are not really true qualities until they have been tested and proven. For example, one who has never been provoked to anger (not sure who hasn't, but whatever) might be known by others as one with incredible patience. People may say, "You never get angry at anyone! You're always so loving and sweet." But how do you know that that person has patience if it has never been tried?

In the same way, I long for the Lord to look at me and say, "Well done, good and faithful servant. No matter what trials came your way, you remained steadfast on Me and you never strayed to the left or to the right. You lived wholeheartedly for Me and counted all as loss in comparison." But, in order for this to be proven or seen in my life (from God's perspective - not man's), I must be tested, and it's about to happen in greater measure than ever before.

Despite all the questions and things I am very much worried about, I know that the Lord will be with me and go before me. I know He has a plan in all of this, although I certainly do not understand. He will give me the strength I need and give me the grace to remain steadfast.